A Posh Programmer, Indeed

30 Day Personal Challenge: Day 1

Day 01 - Your current relationship, if single discuss how single life is.

Well let me give you the run down of my recent love life.  In high school, I was never that girl who had boys fawning over her, in fact for the better half of it, I looked like a troll.  Then shortly before turning 18, I lost weight, got a good haircut, and discovered the magical abilities of makeup and good clothes.  Soon enough, I got a lot of guy attention I had NEVER gotten before, and it really through me off; I was a geeky 5’10”, loud, eccentric girl, who never really fit, let alone had guy attention.  I was a lonely girl back then, and found myself jumping from relationship to relationship the rest of my senior year with little time in between.  Frankly, I was just so flattered SOMEONE was interested, it clouded the fact the fact they possibly weren’t the best guys for me.  I began the same trend when I got to college, and after that ended, I realized I had been defining my physical opinion of myself based on if I was dating or not; when I was single, I felt fat again, ugly again.  That’s wrong, and I quickly realized that.  

So now I’m single, and I’ve got to say…it’s nice.  I still struggle with a lot of my self-image issues, but I think taking a break from relationships will help me learn how to like myself, single or no.  I’ve expanded my group of guy friends and taken a step back to see A) what I really want from a relationship and B) take things slower so I don’t get hurt again.  It’s like a relationship hiatus, and right now, I’m very content with it :)